“You witnessed your partner cheating, but they claim ‘you’re making things up, or you’re destroying your relationship.’
Or, in the meeting when you clearly put forward the idea but your coworker takes its credit, saying to you it was theirs from the beginning.”
These are merely a few of the gaslighting examples of the situations that you face on an everyday basis. Somehow these let you question your credibility and thought process. But, hey, the fault isn’t yours. It’s theirs. They are gaslighting you.
Not your fault. The world is full of such people.
‘How to identify them and save yourself?’ You question this and this is where the piece comes to answer you.
What is Gaslighting?
Gaslighting is when someone makes another person doubt their thoughts, memories, or feelings. The term comes from a 1938 play and then a movie in 1944 called Gas Light, where a husband tricks his wife into thinking she is losing her mind by dimming the lights and then denying that anything has changed.
People who gaslight others want control. By making someone question their reality, the gaslighter gains power over them. This manipulation can make a person feel confused, anxious, and even guilty for things they didn’t do.
Why Do People Gaslight?
Not everyone who disagrees with you is gaslighting you. But some people use gaslighting as a tool to control others. Here are a few reasons why people gaslight:
- To Dodge Responsibility – They don’t want to admit they are wrong.
- To Gain Control – Making someone doubt themselves gives the gaslighter power over them.
- To Isolate Someone – If you stop trusting yourself, you may become more dependent on them.
- To Manipulate Situations – They want to shape events in their favor.
Why is Gaslighting Hard to Recognize?
Gaslighting can be really tricky to notice—even when it’s happening to you. Here’s why:
- It happens slowly – It’s not like someone just flips a switch. Instead, it’s a bunch of little things over time that slowly make you question yourself.
- The person seems believable – They might act super confident or even pretend to care about you. They’ll say things like, “I’m just looking out for you” or “You know I love you.” That makes it harder to doubt them.
- It plays on your fears – Gaslighters know what makes you feel unsure or insecure, and they use that against you.
- It makes you question yourself – The whole point of gaslighting is to make you doubt what’s real. So if you’re being gaslighted, you might already feel unsure of yourself.
- They mix truth with lies – They might throw in a little bit of truth to make their lies seem more real. That makes it even harder to tell what’s actually happening.
- It happens in close relationships – Gaslighting often comes from people you trust—friends, family, or even teachers and coaches. That makes it tough to believe they’d do something like this.
- They never admit it – Even if you catch them lying, they’ll stick to their story. They’ll act like you’re the one who’s confused.
- They make you feel like the problem – Instead of taking responsibility, they’ll say you’re the one overreacting or being too sensitive.
Confusion is the key to gaslighting someone—it keeps them under control without them realizing it. But once you see it, you can stop it!
How Gaslighting Affects You
Like everything, gaslighting can mess with your mind. And in ways you may not notice it first. But, it slowly makes you question yourself until you don’t know what’s real anymore. Here’s how it can affect a normal person:
- You start doubting yourself – You might think, “Maybe I am overreacting” or “Did that really happen?” even when you know the truth.
- You feel confused all the time – Things that used to be clear suddenly feel like a blur because someone keeps changing the story.
- Your confidence takes a hit – You might stop trusting your own thoughts and start thinking you’re always wrong.
- You feel anxious and stressed – When someone keeps making you question yourself, it’s exhausting. You might feel like you’re always walking on eggshells.
- You feel lonely – A gaslighter might make you feel like no one else understands you or that your friends and family are against you.
- You struggle with decisions – Even small things, like picking what to eat or wear, can feel overwhelming because you don’t trust yourself anymore.
- You try to keep the gaslighter happy – You might start agreeing with them just to avoid fights, even when you know they’re wrong.
Gaslighting slowly makes you feel powerless, but remember—you’re not alone, and you can take back control!
How to Protect Yourself from Gaslighting
Gaslighting can be confusing, but you don’t have to deal with it alone. Here’s how to protect yourself and stay strong:
- Trust Your Gut – Don’t dismiss anything that feels strange. Your emotions are genuine and sincere!
- Write It Down – Maintain a journal of discussions and occurrences to ensure you have a precise record of what actually took place.
- Talk to Someone – It’s always a good idea to have a conversation with whom you trust – family, friend, teacher, or any superior. And if you think some professional might help you, then do not hesitate to contact them.
- Learn About Gaslighting – It is easier to identify and combat when you have a better understanding of how it operates.
- Set Boundaries – If someone keeps twisting your words or making you doubt yourself, let them know you won’t accept that behavior.
- Don’t Engage in Arguments – Gaslighters want to confuse and control you. If they keep denying things, don’t waste your energy trying to convince them.
- Spend Less Time with Them – If possible, limit how much you interact with the gaslighter to protect your mental well-being.
- Build a Support System – Surround yourself with people who respect you and remind you of the truth.
- Have an Exit Plan – If the relationship is toxic and harmful, think about safe ways to distance yourself.
Most importantly, always remember that if gaslighting is tough, but you’re tougher. Trust yourself, stand your ground, and remember—you deserve to be treated with honesty and respect! 💙
